Dreaming of Warmer Weather

I am so sick of being cold.

How I feel going outside every day

I've been trying to keep my morale up by planning awesome rides for this summer, but dayum...it just makes me sad that it's not that time yet.

So here are some things that make me happy:

- Smores hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts

- Avocado mac and cheese

- Singing along terribly with "Timber"

- Getting my question answered on Captain Awkward

- Taking selfies with my homie Nobby

- Playing Borderlands 2 long distance with Bro-da and Dard

- The Yoshi Hustle

- Watching Julie climb a tree in short shorts at night in freezing temperatures to save her cat

- Rereading favorite old young adult novels

- This kid getting tormented by a fish

- This entire gif set

- Putting Skitters on Hattie

- My new nerdy tattoo courtesy of my tax refund (1 million internet points to you if you get the reference)

- Planning for an exciting future

- This chill-ass sloth eating his noms

What gets you through the winter?

Doldrums Are Dangerous

The last couple weeks have been barely tolerable. I got in one decent ride a couple weekends ago, but other than that it's been too cold or too icy to ride.

So of course what better way to distract myself than go shopping for animals?? (Don't worry, I haven't gotten a new one. Just window shopping. Mostly.)

When I was 10 or 11 I went to Scotland with my mom and good friends Gwen and Gordie. While I was there I fell in love with "heelan coos" (highland cows) and have wanted one ever since.

This hearty breed has long luxurious hair and they are just the cutest things EVER. They do well in cold climates, are very friendly, and eat all sorts of weeds.

I have come across a few for sale in Maine at prohibitive prices ($1200-1800), but then I found Gabby.

HOW CUTE IS SHE

Gabby is a 7 month old heifer for sale, a steal at $500.

This is Gabby at a couple months old...LOOK AT THAT GLORIOUS HAIR

I'm about ready to sell my soul for her. I do however have some restraint and realize that I shouldn't spend such a large chunk of money right now on a pet (even though highland cows rarely get sick and wouldn't add much at all to my monthly expenses).

I do not, on the other hand, have much shame. So if you'd like to see Gabby become a Blonde Bomber, please consider buying a decorative horseshoe from my Etsy shop. Or let me know if you'd be interested in helping to sponsor Gabby. I would make you something real special in return! Gabby would send you periodic update cards!

Ah well, a girl can dream.  Hope you're all surviving this crazy winter with your sanity intact!

Frozen Tundra

For those readers who live outside of Maine, count your lucky stars. The past couple weeks have been Winter Weather Hell. I made you a picture of what my ground composition currently looks like:

Yesterday and today have been by far the coldest. Here's what the temp was this morning doing chores at 8:30 am....Notice the "RealFeel" of -34.

It is so cold that I am ridiculously bundled up to the point where I can't put my arms down.

It is so cold that if I take off my gloves for a second while doing chores, I immediately can't feel my fingers.

It is so cold that I have (multiple times) plopped my butt in the snow and cried because I spent an hour in the cold with buckets of hot water and a hair dryer and still couldn't get the hydrant and/or water faucets unfrozen.

It is so cold that when I finally get water coming out of the hydrant, I turn it off for literally 10 seconds to switch buckets and it freezes up again.

It is so cold that if I accidentally touch bare skin to slightly damp metal, I risk becoming like this.

It is so cold that all the ponies have ice eyelashes.

It is so cold that the dogs pee on snow on the deck then come to the door and shuffle so that at least one paw isn't touching the ground at all times.

It is so cold out that the cats beg to go outside but when the door is opened and an arctic blast comes through they run the other way.

It is so cold that every day, at least twice, I wonder why I moved to Maine and bought a farm.

Here's hoping for an early spring.